Dancing in the Face of My Fears

I faced one of my biggest fears: I went out dancing by myself. Some of you may be confused as to why I would fear this & far too many other's will understand exactly what I am talking about. What exactly did I fear? I had a deep fear that I could somehow, someway get taken advantage of by a man. That one of the men might slip something into my drink or follow me out to my car to attack me. That they will somehow take advantage of me & force themselves upon me.
I have had a deep deep fear of this because my entire life I have been trained to fear the intentions and actions of men. My entire life I have been treated like an object. When I was ages 6-9, I was sexually abused by my grandfather as well as my best friend's bother & his friend. I also had multiple older male figures tell me how beautiful I was and how sexy I was going to be when I grow up. I was treated as though my purpose in life was to please men. This greatly impacted the way I viewed my self worth, my sexuality, men, other women, etc.
I could have chosen not to go dancing at all but that would mean missing out on doing something that I am absolutely passionate about. Something that makes me feel completely alive. I was able to dance & meet some pretty awesome people all because I decided to look my fear in the eyes and say "Go Fuck yourself!”
I have been doing a lot of healing & growth, one of which is to get rid of all that fear that paralyzes me & stops me from doing what makes me happy. I have always wanted to have “the walls”( not balls) to go dancing or traveling solo. There are a million other new things I have wanted to try but have stopped myself because of this fear. I want to live in a world that us women can be who we are, dress however we want, & go explore wherever we want without men thinking it’s an invitation.
I cannot change the world by respecting myself so others know how to as well as raising my son to respect women. I’m so excited that I overcame this fear & super excited to get back out to dance!